By Amber Michelle
Chapter Four
"Elehayym...... It is you......"
He gazed into her deep blue eyes, still glazed with the effects of Drive, and longed to reach out and touch that smooth cheek, those rosy lips......
Krelian pushed his chair back angrily, jumping up and walking around his desk to the screen, staring at the image of beauty it projected to him. He could have stared at that face forever, it was so perfect. Like a masterpiece, a work of art......
A work of art meant for greater things than the short thrill Miang seemed to suggest.
How dare she even suggest that he would lay hands on her like that! How rude of her to presume to know his feelings, such as they were, and how to satisfy his desires -- as if he had any of that nature. She of all people should understand his hunger for the knowledge, knowledge that would allow him to perfet his work of art......
But she had confiscated that to, had she not? Krelian's eyes narrowed, once again seeing the careless control she exerted over his creation. His creation, not hers, however imperfect he might be.
Just as she had pulled Krelian, seduced him with her promises and her other...... talents, she was drawing him away...... their hope, if everything else failed. Did she intend to have control over him? To hold him just out of his reach, so that he would serve only her purposes?
I am such a fool, he thought, not for the first time that day. Of course she wants control...... She always has, and she'll do anything to get it. Until she learns her lesson......
Krelian reached out, switched the screen off. Elly's visage faded into nothing, leaving the room dimmer for its absence.
Amazing, how one woman's face could inspire feelings again, after he had worked so hard to stamp them into nothing. She would be the death of him yet, if Miang did not beat her to it.
Perhaps he should began another project, based on the information he was drawing from Emeralda. He would gladly kill this Fei, if only for the memories he brought to the surface...... Kahr would be his hope then, the only means of fully merging with Deus. It would be necessary, then, to create a corresponding Anti-type, for Elly could not successfully mesh with his creation......
And what would come of her? Surely she deserved to walk with god, bask in his knowledge......
If he could hold onto her, tightly......
Perhaps she would not leave him, this time. Perhaps she could......
The thought was too painful to contemplate.
The girl...... the girl was the key. His key, the one that would allow him to finally open the path to god and the glories within, to end this horrendous cycle before it played out again before his eyes...... he would die himself before that, die reaching for his goal......
And fail. Again.
He wouldn't watch her die this time. He had the strength to stop it now! And Miang...... if he had to, if it was the only way to preserve the one's life...... it was the only way he could have her. The only way he would ever have Elly.
It was an obsession, Krelian knew it. How could he not? He stood here, staring at a blank screen when there was important work to do, vowing that even if it was Miang within his precious Elly, he would take that, accept that...... never caring for Elly's feelings.
Was he that blind? Maybe Miang was right. Maybe he was allowing his humanity to gain too great a hold on him again. After all, Elehayym had no recollection of him. She was still completely innocent of her heritage, truly a lamb, being led to the slaughter by Miang's hand.
No...... his own hand.
Krelian's fingers curled in, clenching into fists at his sides.
He could blame this line of contemplation on the girl...... Her revelation of her parentage, of a woman named "Elly", coupled with her great resemblance to that face...... It had started this. His dreams, then this inane mental babbling. She was part of it. Part of the cause.
But Miang's favors had no small part in it, either. Had she expected him to respond to her advances, just because he had in the past? He was beyond that, had to be beyond such things...... if he weren't, he never would have let Elly leave Etrenank after that disaster with the Drive, a year ago. He would have given up his plans to stay with her......
Krelian's hands relaxed, losing strength. I could have had her with me. But I don't. Is that meant to comfort me, to see her out of my reach?
But not forever...... no, not forever.
His time would come......
Wind chimes......
Krelian reached out, resting his fingers on the delicate shells with care. They glistened silvery and glass-like, refracting the dim light of his quarters into faint rainbows on the wall, and across his sleeve. The hated Solaris uniform was gone, and he wore his own shirt, homespun to softness that reminded him of his days in Nisan.
It was one of the few parts of his past he could recall without feeling the debilitating, choking pain rise up in his throat. It had nothing to do with her -- it was simply one of the easy comforts of his former freedom, to wear what he chose, to go where he chose. To do what he chose.
The miniature rainbows flashed brightly on the smooth fabric, and he released the bell, watching the chimes swing back and forth in a tinkle of music, sending the reflections skittering across himself, and the wall beside him.
This was the only remnant of his past he could still enjoy.
And it was the only thing that woman -- the one standing just across the room -- could not ruin for him. Even she could not bend the laws of nature. Not quite.
"Are you even listening to me, Krelian?"
Miang's sultry voice broke the spell, though he still gazed at the clear crystalline shells rather than her empty eyes. He had enough of his own emptiness to deal with.
"I heard you, Miang," he replied, dragging the words out almost lazily. That always did irritate her. "Tell me again why you've wasted my time with this? I thought you had made Ramsus your own concern."
"He's your creation. I have no idea how to stabilize him when he decends this far!" Her eyes smouldered, and her mouth was set grimly.
Krelian chuckled. Could it be she was actually serious? Did she expect his help for something so small, so easily fixed? "You seem to be quite adept at quieting him in his bedchamber, Miang...... Why do you have a problem now?" A certain, malicious impulse seized him. "Are your favors no longer adequate? Surely --"
He never had the chance to finish his jibe. "Silence!" she shouted, anger painting her features openly. He blinked, slightly taken aback by her screech. "You know very well what the problem is! Don't waste my time with this -- we have a task to complete, and Ramsus must be stable!"
He felt a smile creep up on him, and Krelian wondered if he could goad her any further. She had never, in all the years he had worked by her side, lost control like that. It was gratifying, in a childish sort of way, to know that he had been the one to break her composure.
The only other time he had seen such intense emotion on her face was when he had impaled her upon his blade. Such...... horror......
"Then increase his dosage of Afetamin. If that doesn't work......" Krelian shrugged, reaching up to grasp another crystalline bell. "Then you'll have to deal with him on your own."
Her glare did not lessen. She took a step forward, but rather than draw nearer, she backed away, conflicting emotions flashing across her face.
He paid her no mind.
Instead, Krelian focused his attention on the chimes, twisting the bell on its chain gently, then relasing it and watching it spin among its companions, clear musical tones ringing through the thick, stifling air of his chambers.
He had once been in a group very like this...... With friends, the exact number of friends as chimes, flashing brightly, shouting out their victories like sweet music...... coming together as comrades.
And now......
The crystal chime, shaped in a perfect teardrop, spun alone at the center, no longer possessing enough momentum to add its music to the others. It continued......
Alone.
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