......And such small, meaningless lives......

Lives like her own. Lives without purpose, but to serve as pawns to the powerful, all unawares...... Even fighting back was too great of an effort. As if such a minor person as herself...... was not worth saving.

The thought felt...... wrong to Elly, but she repeated it in her head anyway, to spite her inner conscience and its soothing monotone. Always soothing -- never changing, no matter what happened, no matter what she did. It was like having another person entirely living inside of her, trying to make the best of the life they had to share.

But she didn't understand that person at all. So forgiving, so passive, seeming to see beyond life as it was, to life as it could be. Sometimes she wished she could share that vision, if only for the blessed absence of self-loathing, but she couldn't bring herself to believe long enough to see.

Yet if such divine, spiritual peace was not to be hers, at least she could find peace of mind in her present search.

Elly sat in front of her father's computer, trying patiently to break through the second password on his database to access more records. The first had been easy enough to break -- her mother's middle name had unlocked it for her -- but the P3 password was stumping her at every turn.

Another failed attempt flashed across the screen, and Elly sighed in extreme annoyance. I wish Kel were here...... She could break through this in a minute. But she herself was no hacker; part of the reason she had been passed up for employment under Water, no doubt. It looked like Fire was her best bet, if she decided to become an Element, but it was all still up in the air, as far as she was concerned.

Come on...... What secrets did her father have -- that she knew about? What could he use as a password, that would be so difficult to guess? The names had gotten more 'private' as she went along - once even using a pet-name she remembered from her childhood - but she couldn't think of much else to type in.

Her lips compressed. It was the last one too! She knew her father did not have P4 access, even with his rank. But it was obvious, by what she had found already, that his records should contain at least some of the information she was looking for.

If she could get through this passcode!

"Anaya! Anaya!" Elly sat on the grass in the backyard, legs stretched out in front of her. Sticky rivulets of tears moistened her face, turning to ice in the cold wind. "Anaaaaayaaaaa!"

"Elly!" A strong hand grasped her shoulder and pulled her to her feet abruptly -- her father. "Stop screaming. You should know better than this by now!"

Elly shook her head violently, trying to see him through her tears. "I want Anaya! Why won't she come?"

An expression she didn't know how to read crossed his face. "Anaya won't be here anymore. She...... had to leave......"

Elly typed the name into the window, cursing herself as a fool for missing something so simple. There was no guaranttee that it would work, but......

The screen blinked, and suddenly the blackness was gone, replaced by scrolling green text and links, making a list that looked like it would be well over a mile long if printed out on paper. Numbers first, then all named links in alphabetical order...... She scrolled down, looking for the name she wanted to research, the secrets she needed in order to put her thoughts to rest on at least one matter.

There had to be something here; even the smallest tidbit, the mere mention of part of his history, to show her where she should look next...... even that would be preferable to nothing at all.

"Close it down, Elly."

Her head snapped up, and her eyes met the frigid blue gaze of her father. Her mouth opened to reply, but she sat there, frozen in the face of his anger.

"Now, Elly." He rounded the desk swiftly, seizing her wrist and yanking her out of his chair, away from the computer. "What do you think you're doing here?"

"Nothing! I --"

"I told you never to touch this computer! If Command's security is compromised --"

"Why don't you listen to me?" she shouted, trying to pull her wrist free. "I didn't do any--"

His full-armed slap silenced her, sending her staggering back against the desk when he released her arm. Her hand flew to her face, covering her cheek in shock, and she winced at the sting illicited by even the feathery touch of her fingers.

"Never raise your voice to me, young woman." Cold, cold tones. "Your place is to obey, as long as you live in this house. I will not tolerate anything less from my own daughter."

Elly remained where she was, leaning against the desk and refusing to look at him. She felt sure there would be a huge, swollen bruise across her cheek the minute she decided to remove her hand, but somehwere in her mind, she knew that was unlikely. He had not, after all, aimed to hurt her. Like him...... Like him, she knew how to hurt another person, if she had to......

"You are not to touch this console again without my express permission. Do you understand?" She saw, out of the corner of her eye, Erich walk back around the desk and tap a few keys, closing the search program down and locking it out of the directory.

Knowing that he expected an answer, Elly nodded in confirmation, afraid to trust her voice. If she said a word, she knew she would cry.

And crying was a weakness she could no longer afford......

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