Reflections

By Rune Grey
starstrike@softhome.net


(Insert standard disclaimer here.)




Two angels sail across the heavens... an angel of gold, and an angel of darkness. Their dance is breathtaking, the motions so intricate that even the greatest pilots of Solaris and Shevat would be impressed by its majesty.

There is a beauty to war, a beauty that is not often perceived by those who are not participating directly in the fighting. It is through war that we are able to fully demonstrate how far we have come in our development and advancement. It is through war that the greatest acts of heroism and daring are performed, all in the name of some 'worthy cause'. Heroes are forged, fortunes are won, all because of war.

I know this... for I have seen war at its most glorious. And at its most horrid and base.

War is also a demonstration of how little we have progressed in attitude and manner over the years. No matter how we attempt to justify it, war is the means by which a group of humans band together in order to extinguish the life of an enemy. War offers justification for the most inhumane and depraved acts that mankind has ever committed, all in the name of 'victory'. And the greatest advancements that we make in war are advancements in how we kill one another.

My dear Sophia, did you see war like this? Did those blessed eyes of yours look upon the carnage that we had wrought upon the enemy with pride, or disgust? Pride that we were turning back the tide of darkness and evil that was Solaris or disgust at the lives that were being lost on both sides of the battlefield? I can only hope that it was the latter...

I watch the battle rage above me... a one-sided, futile battle when Ramses is controlling an Omnigear and Fei controls only Weltall. While the battle gear I provided he and his alter ego is extraordinary on the level of the gears deployed by Kislev and Aveh, it is no match for the likes of Vendetta.

Damn the Ministry. And damn you as well Miang. Interfering with my plans for the Contact and the Anti-type again and again... none of you will be able to accomplish my goals, or your own, if you kill Fei...

If only the boy could serve his purpose and be done with it. Blessed with gifts that I can only remember in my dreams, endowed with powers beyond the reach of his feeble imagination, and he can not even manage to protect himself without assistance.

An explosion blossoms from Weltall... apparently Miang's pet general has gone completely overboard with his hatred. Even the Ministry would not have give him permission to kill the Anti-type under any circumstances.

I watch as Weltall began its meteoric descent towards the surface, my hands gliding over the controls as I activated Alpha Weltall's sensors. The black shape, burning with flame and belching black smoke pulmments like a fallen angel, directly towards the island below. I know the area where it was going to land... I'd been there several times before.

"Melchior... seems that I'm going to call in a favor, old friend."


...


The sight of it nearly stops my heart, a bitter anguish that I haven't felt in ages...

Not since that day, five hundred years ago, when I stopped being Lacan.

I watch as Fei drags himself away from the crashed Weltall, Elly cradled in his arms. I've seen this scene played over and over during my life... and it rends my heart in twain every time. He only manages to make it a few feet away from Weltall before collapsing... his own injuries are too severe to allow him to travel any farther. But he still tries to reach for her, until he too loses consciousness.

I walk into the clearing, a shadow passing through the trees. Almost before I realize it, she is in my arms. Light as a feather... was she this way back during the war so long ago, or am I so unaware of my own strength? Her face is so much like it was back then... strong and caring, an angel of mercy.

I can't let her die again, not before I've realized my plans.


...


"She looks like a ballerina, inside of a snow globe..." I whispered quietly, the tips of my fingers resting on the nano-reactor. She floated within, suspended by billions upon billions of nanomachines that were working to restore her flesh to perfect condition. "Beautiful, perfect... timeless."

Why couldn't have Sophia been this way?

"Yes, I suppose you could say that," Melchior stated as he walked up beside me. What a scene we would have made... an old, withered blue man with white hair and a figure that seemed to be cut from the shadows themselves, staring at a naked young woman inside of a glass tube...

I felt a flash of guilt at looking at her like this, and turned away to look at Fei for a moment. Young, handsome, strong... a perfect copy of the person I had once been, so many years ago. And would be again, if I had my way with things. Fei Fong Wong, flesh of the body that I currently inhabited.

It was still too soon in order to take that body away from him; having the patience of ages doesn't mean that you have to enjoy the waiting, no matter what Krelian said nowadays.

"Lacan, can I ask you a question?" Melchior said quietly as he again walked up beside me.

"Perhaps... but don't expect an answer if I find the topic you choose to be disturbing." I replied, the thin edge of contempt in my voice barely hidden from the old man. Let him ask what he wants... I don't care about whatever pretty goals he has at the moment. Not when I play for the world as the prize.

"Why are you doing all of this, old friend? Your actions, and the actions of Krelian, are catapulting the world to the brink of Armageddon. You used to care more than this... what has changed you so?"

"That should be an obvious answer Melchior... I'm insulted that you even need to ask why." He had to be digging for something else. After all, he knew the story of Sophia and I just as well as Krelian and Miang did.

I had always loved Sophia, even when it became apparent that we would never be together. Even when I thought I would have to fight Krelian tooth and nail for her...

The old sage shook his head, obviously not satisfied with the answer. "I know that Sophia meant a great deal to you... but this is different. You are working to undo everything that she worked for, surrendering the world to Solaris. That idea would had horrified you when you were young... why are you so eager to destroy everything now?"

I stopped, thinking over what Melchior had asked. "War is what is destroying us... war that has been instigated again and again by the Gazel Ministry in an attempt to dominate the world, or to resurrect their moldy, forgotten god. These wars have laid waste to our world again and again, each time reaping thousands of lives in payment for their waging. I didn't realize the cost until the war demanded that Sophia be the life that would appease its hunger five hundred years ago."

I had been living in some serene fantasy... the worst thing that had ever occurred to me was the idea that I would lose Sophia. I hadn't seen the pain and suffering, accepted it and fought against it like she had. While the Great Mother of Nisan had take the pain of the world upon her own shoulders in order to save others, I had been content to live in a world of paint and canvas. I had hoped that if I poured my heart into my work, the world might vent its fury upon it instead of myself... or Sophia.

When she had died, I had decided to take control for the first time in my life. There was no god who would protect me... the only way that I would be able to fulfill Sophia's dying wish was to find the power to fulfill it myself.

Both her wish that she spoke to me over the comm... and the wish she had always held in her heart.

Sophia had loved me to the end... I had been certain of that for every moment of my life for the last five hundred years. With her dying breath, she had told me to become more... to better myself, and to better those around me.

So I would do that... I would put a stop to all of the war, the killing, the only way I knew how. If the world were so degenerate that it would not accept a peaceful solution to its problems, then I would destroy it and remake it into a utopia that would make Sophia proud... I would live to the end of the world, and long enough to see a new, better world created in its place.

Perhaps then... I could look at my love again, and not seen the hatred, the condemnation for what I had become... although a part of me knew that she would forgive everything, were I to see her again.

It was my own reflection that I knew I would be unable to face until I fulfilled Sophia's dream.

I ran my fingers over Elly's nanoreactor again, looking at her with an expression that was equal parts love, affection, admiration, and wonder. She was in good hands here... Melchior would be able to take care of her. And Fei as well.

I turned to go, deciding that being here when they awoke would not be the most prudent move to make at this stage in the game. I would be nearby... this was my first chance to observe Elly without her being aware of my presence. But as I neared the door, I turned towards the old sage.

"I follow my dreams, Melchior... you know that. We all follow our dreams. No matter where they may lead us... Because without dreams, we are nothing."



Author's note:

To quote Ray from Ghostbusters... "It just popped in there." I got a flash of inspiration for this fic after coming home from a rather boring day of work, and created this in two and a half hours of furious typing. If you want to comment, criticize, etc (but no flames) mail me at starstrike@softhome.net.