"Tomorrow..."
She said I could give her my answer tomorrow
I lie awake staring at the ceiling
	and think about it.
The worn out bed creaks and moans under me
	echoing my stomach.

Every day,
	the plants wither
	the paint peels
and	
	everything falls apart 
faster than I can fix it.


"I will give you 3,000 dollars
	for one night."
she eyed me between the potatoes
	and the melons
at the market I came home 
mostly emtpy handed from.

3,000 is a small price to pay 
     for someone's soul.
But it would buy a lot of groceries.

In the darkness, my guns glint
reminding me of all that I have lost.

I reach out and run my fingers down
their cold, reasurring length,
	and a thought crosses my mind.
I have had it a hundred times before.
My fingers pause on the twin barrels.

I have felt their cold hard weight
	in the skull dent behind my ears
and known the peace they could bring.

I look to the still form in the bed next to mine.
I can hear her breathing, steady, slow.
If not for her I might have ended it all long ago.

I shift restlessly,
thinking again of the woman in the market place 
and her offer.
I can feel her hungry eyes
	on my arms,
	my face.

I shiver from more than just the cold,
and my stomach stops moaning 
long enough to tie into hard knot.
"Tomorrow..."
I lie awake, staring at the ceiling.
She said I could answer her tomorrow...


~Rachel Fox~  '00