Fan-poetry by Irwin Kwan


By Irwin Kwan, kkwan@globalserve.net
Deus ex Machina: The Xenogears Tale http://members.tripod~project_xat/


"I Want You Near"


      My Sophia
      You are my love
      I wish I could
      Say what I feel
      But I must hold
      My heart inside
      Because you love
      Another one.


      Oh, Lacan
      My friend Lacan.
      I said to him,
      "I love her more
      Than anything
      But if she does
      Not love me then
      The next best thing
      Would be for her
      To love you instead.
      Take care of her
      My friend Lacan.
      She loved me but
      She loves you more."


      Oh Sophia
      The sky-blue eyes
      The autumn hair
      The soft skin of
      Your fingers on
      My humble hand.
      Why must you be
      So far away
      From here...
      From me?


      I said to him,
      "You let her die!
      My friend Lacan,
      Could you not
      Have watched her more?
      I loved her and
      You loved her too
      I trusted you
      To keep her safe
      Was that all
      She meant to you?
      She means to me
      My entire world
      Much much more
      Oh so much more
      Than this cross
      I hold in hand
      The only thing
      That's left of her.
      Oh so much more
      Than this thing
      I only can
      Stare at in grief!"


      Oh Sophia,
      I think of you.
      Why'd you have
      To go to him?
      I smiled on
      And watched as you
      Loved him withal.
      I did not fight
      I did not get
      Into your way
      All because
      You were happy
      And that is what
      Matters to me.


      You are now
      So far away
      I cannot let
      My love come through
      I must hold
      My mind in check
      As I dream
      Day in day out
      Of meeting you
      One day once more
      I'll love again
      I'll hold your hand
      Whisper your name
      So you can hear
      Me say the words:
      "I love you...
      Sophia...
      Oh, my Sophia."
      And you will know
      I mean them to
      The day I die.


      You had to go
      Why did you go?
      I want to hear
      Your voice again
      Speak to me
      My Sophia
      You my angel
      My Sophia...


      **


      Where is my God?
      My God is you.
      And with your death
      My God dies too.


      And so I must
      Do what I can
      To create god
      With my own hands.


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