She sat alone in the dark confines of Caliginus; her knees curled up to her chest desperately seeking an elusive sense of comfort. She trembled uncontrollably as the implications went through her. Silent condemnations echoed in her mind as her eyes saw only the consuming fire. She was within a sea of flames yet she did not burn. Instead, she heard screams of unimaginable agony as around her, women and children got slowly burned to their deaths. She could hear the wails of babies, inconsolable.

Reya covered her ears and closed her eyes, trying to shut out the sight and sound but they haunted her, vengeful spirits that could not be laid to rest. She had killed before under his command but this time she could not justify it. So many lives lost without a reason.

No...

It would become another cross that she had to bear. Another sin that she commit for those that she loved. It was a new scar on the bloody, bleeding mess that was her heart, another ragged wound that would never heal. Reya struggled with her inner demons, biting her lip so hard that she felt the tangy taste of her blood on her tongue. She welcomed the pain, the sharp sensation like a scourge for her many crimes.

It had been hard enough to hide from Igraine and Kahr but now she had to hide from Sigurd as well. He was a natural empath that could read her innermost feelings. Too many times he had sensed the emotions buried deep within her that the others could not. She should have never let him come so near. Near enough to fell for him. He was a danger to her darkest secrets but Reya had taken the risk for a little happiness.

Her gamble had won her the happiness that she wanted but she had not realized that the price would be so high. She had found the missing half of her soul that made her whole yet soon she would have to let it go, leaving herself less than what she was before. Though Sigurd had not said anything, Reya had known. She had known ever since the unfortunate incident with Erim. He could no longer delay leaving for the surface. Someone was waiting for him. Hyuga had been the first person to warn her that her relationship with Sigurd may not last and he was not the only one, subsequently Jessie had done the same. Reya had been touched that both men had cared enough for her to do it nevertheless she reached her own conclusions. She loved him and she would let him go.

Focusing her whole being on that single thought alone, Reya banished the images of fiery destruction one by one. She wiped away a drop of blood from her mouth, a dark red stain across the back of her hand. Regaining her composure, Reya started the mental exercise that Krelian had taught her.

" They would help you to forget... "

But he lied.

I remembered everything...

Time was running out.

He could not wait any longer and risk losing his only chance of escape. Tomorrow would be the last of live exercise for the graduating Jugend cadets and after that Sigurd may never have another chance to be deployed to the surface again. Yet, one very important thing made him hesitate, creating a dilemma that he had no answer for.

Sigurd paced in the privacy of his suite, grateful that at least his rank as an Element had some privileges. Not that he truly minded sharing a room with the others since those days had been more than fun with the wild escapades that Jessie always inexorably lead them into. Jessie, Hyuga and Kahr... The three men who had made a difference, giving him the strength to endure and abide his time. Sigurd was sure that Jessie was the first who knew that he had broken through the brain washing effects and regained his lost memories of the surface and subsequently Hyuga had learn from Sigurd's own lips. He had wonder if Kahr knew anything about him leaving, instinctively knowing that Kahr would be the one among the three most affected by his departure. They would perhaps feel betrayed but that was a fact that Sigurd had already come to terms with long ago.

It was night but even that had to be deduced from the dimmed artificial lights that served Solaris as the sun and moon. Sigurd stood by the window, his deep blue eyes sweeping across the inner plaza of the Element quarters. The place was deserted, as he knew it would be. Strangely, taking in the scene before him Sigurd was struck by a sense of desolation and loneliness. He should be making his final plans, thinking of ways on how to avoid detection but he could think of was her, Reya. Her laughing green eyes, her long ebony hair and the warm of her rare smiles. Those were the images that haunted him; she was always there a part of his subconscious. Sigurd had not seen her ever since the live exercises started, partly because they were assigned different missions and partly because he had stayed away with the knowledge that if he spent another day with her; he may never be able to leave.

Sigurd finally understood the cost of the decision that his father had made when he left his mother Shalimar behind. Duty had torn his father away and now it seemed that as the son, his fate would be the same. Both were men destined to chose between love and duty. On his mother's deathbed, Sigurd had sworn not to love the way his parents did but here he was repeating their history. Love was something he had always joked about, a word that he would never say nor want to hear from someone. Deep in his heart, there was no denial that he loved Reya but he lacked the courage to put it to her in the three simple words.

He did not even have the courage to say goodbye, preferring to take the coward's way out instead by hiding from her. Sigurd knew he was being selfish but he was insecure too. There was always a part of her that Reya kept locked from him and unlike what he had told Hyuga about women being able to simply admit their feelings, Reya had not ever said that she loved him. Perhaps it was because of this very reason that he could not do the same.

What if she...

He was standing by the window and even though a lock of his beautiful platinum white hair veiled part of his face, Reya saw the troubled expression as she walked through the door. She had come to him, somehow knowing that perhaps this was her only chance to say goodbye. His name hovered on her edge of her lips but she could not bring herself to say it and shatter the silence that hanged between them as they regarded one another across the short distance that separated them.

Sigurd was half-dressed, the golden amber expanse of his chest and stomach bare. He was not expecting anyone and Reya could tell by the subtle shifts in his body language that he was a little self-conscious for her to have caught him half-naked. He turned, reaching for the shirt that was draped across a chair but she stopped him.

Reya's arms encircled him from behind as she molded her body to his, seeking the closeness that only physical contact could give her. One hand covered the small silver ring that pierced his navel, the metal cool against the warm of his skin. She said nothing as she bent her head to rest against the back of his shoulder. Her eyes were closed as she sought to hold on to essence of his very being, forever imprinting the feeling in her deepest memory so that she would never forget.

Sigurd went still, his hand froze in the motion of reaching for his shirt, as he felt her sudden embrace. She had surprised him by this uncharacteristic act. While they had shared hugs as lovers do, Reya had never been the once who reached out and touched first. Yet, here she was with him, holding on to him with a sense of quiet desperation. He felt her keenly - her head was pressed against his shoulder, her hair lightly brushing against his naked back like a waterfall of ebony silk and the sound of her breath in the stillness of the night.

With Reya so material by his side, Sigurd finally realized what was the strange empty emotion that had left him perturbed every moment since he started distancing himself away from her. He missed her, his soul yearning for her with intensity so strong that it both comforted and frightened him. With trembling hands, Sigurd covered hers, his fingers entwining with Reya's own as he lifted her hands and placed them upon his heart.

" Reya... " He whispered her name so softly that she felt rather than heard it.

When the single drop of moisture fell upon his skin, Sigurd knew it was her tear and it made him remember the question he had asked her one night beneath the light of the moon visible only from the Church grounds. Reya was not the only woman who had shed tears over him. Many of the women he knew before had used their teardrops like weapons to regain his affections and none had been able to touch him until now. Sigurd turned to her, releasing her hands for his fingers to touch her face and trace the wet path that her tear had traveled back to the eye to which it had fallen. She closed her eyes, not wanting him to see her cry.

" No, look at me. Please... look at me... " He imprisoned her face with his gentle hands as his voice begged her.

Her answer to his plea banished the shadowy doubts lurking in his heart. Reya's eyes glanced into his own, verdant orbs that shone with an inner luminescence brightened by the tears that she would not let fall. Sigurd felt a touch of guilt, he should have known better than to have leaded her on and now they were standing on the last threshold before the path of no return. Sigurd was torn with the knowledge that he might very well do something that he would regret.

You shouldn't be here...

" No... Tell me that it isn't true, Graine. Sig must be still here, hiding somewhere laughing at me. He's just playing one of those silly jokes that he keeps on carrying about. You know, about returning to the surface and all that nonsense. He won't leave... He'll never leave us behind... No, not after Jessie...no..no...no... " The tirade was mumbled, words tripping over one another as the nervous lips tried to form them with single desperation.

Kahr's fist was clenching the hilt of his saber so tightly that Igraine could see the fragile network of veins beneath the pale skin of his hand. She stood by helplessly, unsure of what she could do to comfort her distraught brother. There was a sense of unreality around the whole affair of Sigurd's departure. She could not understand how he could have done it. How he could have left them all behind even the woman he had loved.

" Reya... He even left her behind. Sigurd loved her, didn't he? He told me that he did but he couldn't tell her. Sig always said that saying you loved someone was the hardest part so he must have loved her. Yet he left her behind... " Kahr turned to her, his voice pleading for some kind of understanding.

Yet still Igraine said nothing. She could feel the pain that so keenly emanated from him but the truth rendered any words that she could have said into futility. Igraine could not against her conscience to tell Kahr that their sister had been the very key in instrument in Sigurd's successful flight to the surface. It would only be pouring salt onto a gaping wound.

They had left him one after the other. First it had been Jessiah and now Sigurd, abandoning the city in the sky for the earth beneath. Jessiah had not given any reasons before departing with his whole family. There had been no outward sights or hints that something like that could be coming but Igraine believed that whatever the reasons might have been, they had been important enough to warrant the tremendous risk. Sigurd had been different in a sense. He had always said that there was someone below who needed him. It had been an open secret perhaps so open that Kahr had never believed it until now.

Hyuga had been the first to share the news with her and he had warned her too on the possible impact on her younger brother. Igraine had thought she would be ready to help Kahr deal with the stark-unwelcome truth but she was wrong. She had not been prepared for the internal turmoil and emotional distress that even threatened to overwhelm her. She reached out to touch his shoulder in a gesture of solace but he jerked away from her suddenly.

" Kahr? "

" I have to go to her. Reya will be so upset. She needs me... " His light amber eyes seemed to glow with a strange fervor as a desperate sense of purpose filled him.

" But.... "

Before Igraine could say anything more, Kahr was already gone leaving her alone.

Kahr searched everywhere for her blindly, running from place to place like a mad man. When fatigue finally penetrated the fog that clouded his mind, he slowly regained his senses to find himself standing outside the weapons hall in the gathering twilight. Kahr leaned against a wall, taking deep breaths to calm his racing heart and labored lungs. As his mind cleared, betrayal burned him like a putrefying welt yet this time the pain brought not confusion but anger. He had been lead by the nose like a fool and he was further enraged by the fact that he had believed that Sigurd was someone he could entrust Reya's happiness to.

The thought of his sister spurred Kahr back to his original quest. Taking a chance that she might be found within, he entered the closed weapons hall. The building was off-limits to all Jugend students after seven at night and only members of the officer level had access. Tonight, the hall was somehow quieter than usual and his footfalls echoed hollowly, sounding discordant and oddly disturbing.

He found her in the main practice room where they had their last duel. She stood with her back to him, glazing out from one of the huge glass windowpanes that lined one side of the room. Reya did not turn or acknowledge his presence even though the sound of his footfalls had long announced his arrival. Kahr walked towards her until he was close enough to see both their reflections on the glass and look beyond to see what she was looking at. He had never bothered to see what was the view that the windows offered as they were always shuttered off in the hours of the day to prevent distraction. Kahr's amber eyes widened a little as he watched a section of Upper Etrenank spread out before him.

" Doesn't it look beautiful from here? All those colors like dancing fairy lights. " Reya spoke at last but her voice sounded strangely flat and monotonous.

" Reya... " He had meant to come to her to offer her comfort but Kahr found himself unable to breach the subject that hanged between them.

" How would you feel if everything before you was consumed by a sea of flames? " Reya asked again without waiting for the answer to her previous question. " Would it still look beautiful engulf in an red gold inferno? "

" Reya, what are you talking about? " Kahr could not help but feel puzzled and concerned over the direction of her words.

" Nothing... it's nothing... " She trailed off into silence.

Placing his hands on her shoulder, Kahr gently turned her around to face him. Reya's face was inches from his own but her eyes seemed to glaze through him as if he was not even before her. Her face showed no emotion even her dark green eyes were like mirrors reflecting only his image. Worried that she might be ill, Kahr raised a hand to her forehead but she stepped away before he could touch her.

" I'm fine, Kahr. There's nothing physically wrong with me. " Her lips curled into a cynical smile that was out of character.

Suddenly, Kahr felt a sudden chill. His sister was standing before him yet she was a stranger that watched him with shadowed eyes that was concealed some deep dark secret. The scene where she admonished the Jugend cadet came sharply to mind. Reya had been closed off to him then as well. A swift hiss of steel was all he heard before instinct took over. He leapt backwards to narrowly escape as Reya's blade slashed the air where he just stood.

" Reya! "

" Fight me, Kahr. " She lunged forward, attacking.

A resounding metallic clang rang out as he raised his scabbard to block her sword at the last minute. Before he could speak, Reya began another flurry of lighting quick assaults. Her sword gave no quarter, each blow seeking him like voracious serpents. Kahr was hard pressed to fend off each succeeding strike. One quick flash of light against steel and a brief stinging pain across one cheek told him he had not been fast enough. Bright red drops of blood wept from the cut and instead of pursuing her advantage, Reya withdrew. Yet she kept the length of her sword between them like a barrier.

" First blood... " She murmured, the words spoken to herself rather than to him.

" Will you still continue to evade only? You can't do that forever, can you? Draw your sword and fight me, Kahr. " Reya lifted her sword until the wickedly pointed tip was in front of his face.

Finally infuriated by his sister's erratic behavior, Kahr drew his own blade with a flourish that slapped hers aside, splattering the teardrops of blood on her sword onto the floor. She moved with the force of his action, twirling on the heel of her feet to return with an upward slash. Instead of sidestepping her offensive, Kahr meet her head on. The resulting impact sent Reya stumbling back but she recovered her balance quickly but did not attack. His own arms throbbed with the aftershock but he was in better shape having distributed the force of the collision with a two handed grip. Taking this momentary advantage, Kahr retaliated by closing in on Reya with a series of powerful slashes.

Deftly switching her sword to her left hand, Reya danced back even as she wove a tight defensive. Kahr was disconcerted by the adeptness she was displaying; he had never seen her in such form. It was as if she was toying with him, demolishing his attacks with practiced ease. Unlike in the previous sparring sessions, where he fought her on the same level, he suddenly felt grossly outclassed. Doubts filled his mind as he found himself once more taking a defensive stance.

" Reya, what's the matter with you? I know that Sigurd has left but you don't have to torture yourself this way! " Kahr blurted out when he blocked a vicious slash.

Trying his best to get through to her, he locked the crosspieces of their swords together. Yet the face that he looked into was not a face that he knew. She regarded him with eyes like cold flat pieces of emerald crystals that registered not a single trace of emotion. At that moment, Kahr felt a familiar pang of loss. His dearest friend was gone and now it seems he had lost a sister as well.

" I helped him. "

" I helped him escape..." She said it tonelessly, each word cutting sharper and deeper.

" How else did you think Sigurd managed to bypass the shield and the self-destruction mechanism on the training Gears on his own? I replaced his training Gear with a military standard. "

" No... it can't be... " Kahr shook his head wildly in denial.

" It was easy including him into my squadron and subsequently letting him break away once we reached the surface. After that it was only a matter of erasing the clearance records at the launch decks. " Her explanation mercilessly destroyed any glimmer of hope that he still possessed.

" NO! "

He lashed out blindly, the pain giving him strength born out of despair. He had been twice betrayed by two of the people dearest to him. The keen edge of his blade cut Reya's hand, sending a crimson arc of blood flying even as her saber spun from her grasp to land point first into the scarred wooden floor. Her blood splattered onto his face, mingling with his that still bled from the gash she had bestowed upon him earlier. Reya made no move to reclaim her sword nor did she even flinch when Kahr placed the tip of his blade against her throat. He could kill her, one single thrust and it would be all over.

They stood facing each other in a soundless confrontation. The power over life and death was in his hand yet Kahr found himself unable to come to a decision. Slowly, his arm wavered and with a curse he flung his sword away in disgust. He was confused and ashamed over the loss of control. In his mind, reason warred with the need to find an outlet for the pandemonium that was his emotions. Incapable of finding resolution, Kahr collapsed onto his knees as tears ran down his face unheeded.

Unlike before, this time Reya made no attempt to comfort him. She stood heedless of the blood that ran rivulets down her hand. He shuddered; wrapping his arms around himself as the implications hit him again and again relentlessly. Kahr raised a face stained with tears and blood to his sister, pleading silently but she was unmoved.

Kahr covered his eyes, trying vainly to block out the sight of those dispassionate eyes that regarded him the same way Krelian did. The echo of an old memory resurfaced and plunged him into a hell of deepest despair. He remembered a woman with long dark hair and eyes. She would have been beautiful except for the strange coldness that emanated like a shield. The woman had watched him in a way that discomforted him as if he was no more than a hapless insect that she could easily crush. And one day, those dark eyes passed their judgement and she spoke the words that changed his fate forever.

Worthless...

They had thrown him away like a piece of refuse into the abyss that was Solaris' sewer system. Kahr could have died but he had lived on, the sole purpose of his life fueled by the all-consuming need to prove them wrong. Then, his sisters had found him. Igraine and Reya, two little girls who had ventured deep down, searching every drain and duct for him. They had defended him like lionesses with cubs when Krelian had demanded that they threw him back. Their childhood together had been a tribulation but they had each other and Reya had always been invariably the one who protected Igraine and him more often than not. She was his sister and she will never hurt him.

Will she?

The stark ugly thought flashed across his mind and clung tenaciously like a leech. Golden orbs flared as Kahr regained his sanity. Lifting his head, he looked up to face an empty hall and the sight of Reya's sword gleaming dully, a tarnished cross embedded into the wooden floor. The symbolism was too strong to banish - his gift to her standing like a tombstone to mark the death of the sister he had known and loved. Climbing onto his feet unsteadily, Kahr stumbled towards the standing blade. He grasped the hilt with a hand that shook and it was a while before he finally pulled it free with a rending wrench. Clutching the sword to his breast, Kahr silently grieved.

Unknown to him, indigo eyes watched from distant shadows and smiled.

Her lips closed over his tenderly, giving even as she took. It was too late, too late to pretend that nothing would happen. Even if he could turn back the hands of time, Sigurd knew inevitably that they would still travel down the same path to this very moment. It was an inescapable destiny that brought them together and soon it would tear them apart. He crushed her to him, deepening the kiss even as she threaded her fingers through his hair.