The Demon Within

By Calis Cheah

calisc@hotmail.com

 Author's Note: This poem/fic(?) is a major spoiler in itself so if you know nothing about the mysterious character called Id, it would be better if you don’t read this, as it will really dampen your enjoyment of the game. Of course I can't stop you if you want to so happy reading then!


Part One: Genesis

Pain.

That was the first sensation I knew.

I was devoured and torn apart.

My body mangled.

My soul broken.

This was how I came into existence.

Thrust onto the stage,

To bear the things he could not face.

The coward.

The weeping child who screamed,

Until he learned how to hide.

Leaving me to take his place.

I am the darkness that lives.

I am the demon that lies within.

I am…

Id.

 


Part Two: Expulsion

Mother, come play with me!

It was a beautiful day.

I laughed happily.

Watching the ball,

As it bounced back and forth

Between Mother and me.

She was smiling.

Smiling at me.

If only Father was here too…

 


Mother? Why is it so dark?

What is this place?

I don’t like it here.

Can we go home?

Mother, I'm scared.

Mother?

 


No!

Stop it!

It hurts!

What is going on?

Who are these strange people?

What are they doing to me?

Mother!

Where are you?

Make them stop!

It's so painful…

I can't stand it anymore.

They are tearing me apart…

Make them stop!

Please…

Mother…

 


What has happened?

What is going on?

Mother…

She's changed.

I don't know her anymore.

Mother has become a stranger.

Father…

Please come back.

I 'm afraid.

I don't want to go back

Stop Mother from taking me there again.

Protect me.

Father?

I need to talk to you.

Father?

No!

Don't go!

Don't leave me alone!

 


It was a beautiful day.

I laughed happily.

Mother was playing with me.

She's smiling.

Smiling at me.

And the ball bounced,

Back and forth,

Back…

And forth…

 


Part Three: Extirpation

Hatred.

Malevolence.

Malice.

Spite.

They were all I ever knew.

Parts of me.

Innate.

Elemental.

Inherent…

There were no limits,

No boundaries nor any deterrents,

To my aptitude for violence.

I was made for destruction.

The Grim Reaper…

Destined to summon down

The fires of Hell.

 


Yes…

Let me take over this body,

Unleash all this caged up fury.

I am a implement of war,

A weapon.

The Demon of Elru.

Do you think you could stop me?

Lowly piece of trash that you are…

Just one useless scrap of rubbish.

Fated to be worthless,

Abandoned,

Unwanted,

Rejected.

Pathetic creature

Fall beneath my strength then…

 


Father…

Should I call him as such?

No.

He just another coward.

Too blind to see

What was before his eyes.

Like father, like son.

A bunch of weaklings.

So hard does he fight now

For you,

His precious little son.

And the other…

A fragment of our distant past.

One who seeks to possess us both.

My power.

Your flesh.

What irony.

Run away…

My frightened little rabbit.

Let me take the stage.

Let me put an end to this then.

 


Was it warm?

That blood on your face.

Our face.

The bright crimson blood

That our mother bled.

Is this what you wanted?

Revenge for that pain.

Deny it all you want,

Repudiate me.

Shove all your guilt unto me.

Isn't this what my whole existence

Was meant to be?

 


Part Four: Trinity

So you created another shade

To face life.

Fragile chrysalis that you are,

Protected by the cocoon of a single memory.

Selfish bastard.

I don't need you.

We don't need you.

 


I don't want to be part of him.

He killed Mother…

He's a murderer.

 

No, that is not true.

You should know that.

Remember…

Show us what really happened.

 

Mother…

Mother was smiling.

Her eyes…

So gentle,

Brimming with tenderness.

Those were the eyes

Of the Mother I loved.

I…

I…killed….her…

 

No,

Mother died for us.

She came back for us.

You, me and him…

We are her child.

The child she gave her life

To

Protect.

 


Three personas in one mind.

Separate fragments of a whole.

The child,

The man,

The demon.

We are one.

Integral.

We are…

Fei.