|
By Amber Michelle K. and Rune Grey
True to the protocol all sisters were required to follow, Miang was shrouded in the navy blue robes of the Nisan clergy, and her hair constricted by the heavy head cloth she had so despised the night before. It was no better now - she loved the feel of the wind, adored the feeling of its fingers through her hair... but her formal attire made it impossible for her to indulge herself. After a moment of thought, her eyes turned to the distant shimmering of the lake, she moved her attention back to the boy who had attached himself to her shortly after sunrise. She had quite an odd feeling about him... memories, or parts of them, were constantly drifting up, as if trying to remind her of who he was, but they were all different. One claimed he was a doctor, shrouded in darkness as she was, and in another he was just a small, lonely little boy... Nothing meshed. Like everything else in her life, he was just another tapestry of mystery. The young man leaned back against the wall, his face a study in puzzlement as he looked Miang over. This was probably the last thing that Fei had expected to happen... how had she gotten here? For that matter, how had she even survived? From what his father had told him, Miang should have been completely absorbed by Elly when they merged with Deus. Instead she was standing here, as plain as day, in the garden outside of the Nisan Cathedral. It just didn't make any sense - and gave Fei an eerie sense of dread. If Miang was alive, what else might have happened? Fei gently bit his lip as he pushed himself away from the wall and walked across the garden towards the purple haired woman. The soft grass in the garden made his footsteps almost silent, but she turned to face him the moment that he started moving. For that matter, she looked different than before. That air of absolute confidence she had projected before seemed less stable, almost as if she were trying to put up a wall of self assurance to mask some inner weakness. "How are you feeling...?" he asked after a moment, his voice low to avoid anyone who was passing by in the cathedral from overhearing. "I mean... are you well? You've seemed rather distracted since... well, you know..." He really could not think of anything to say. At least, nothing that would not sound completely foolish. How was he supposed to go about talking to her, though? 'Hello, can I double check and make sure that you are a ten thousand year old woman that I've met countless time, who by the way is supposed to be dead?' Miang answered with a faint smile, straining not to let her confusion show through on her face. This person's features - no, his very presence - were wreaking havoc on the perfect little existence she had managed to create for herself as "Faith." That had been the body's name before her awakening, in any case... and she had been so close to convincing herself that she /was/ Faith... ... until Fei had shown himself. She knew him, better than she knew her own hands right now... but she could not place him. Never mind that she could barely place her own name without a thousand others popping up and trying to usurp its place... "I'm fine, thank you... A bit tired, but nothing a walk in the sun cannot remedy." "Well... eh, that's good..." Fei replied, a little flustered at her apparently calm, collected response. He turned slightly, running his hand through his hair in an old habit from... well, some other lifetime. He could not remember exactly when he started doing it. "Being out in the sun can really help. Um..." This frustrated him to no end, having her right here but at the same time almost out of reach. Could be it that she was just a strange lady who just happened to have the same hair color and name? No, that would be too much of a coincidence, even for him. She was so calm, almost as if she were unaware of everything that had happened over the last few years. Well, he could always try that... it might even work. Fei turned around and gently pressed his hand against her shoulder, his fingers rumpling the fabric slightly as he spoke. "Ma'am, can I ask you what the date is? I'm afraid that I've been holed up in my office for a while, and I lost track of time..." "Date...?" She paused, staring unblinking into his pale brown eyes. What a strange question to ask... What did the date matter? Surely Nisan's 'hero' did not need to trouble himself with such things when all he had to do was walk over to Elly and... Miang bit her lip, snapping her gaze away before his eyes could capture her. "I... don't know myself, I'm afraid... I've been so tired the last few days..." She tried to turn away, to hide the confusion that was welling up in her mind, but found his hand an unmovable barrier. Or perhaps she didn't push hard enough... either way, she found his gaze too unnerving to face. It was almost as if he was demanding an answer of some sort, and she really didn't know what to say. What /was/ the date...? "Your father will know, when he returns." The wind picked up a little, tugging at the cloth shrouding her hair. "Why don't you wait, and ask him?" There. Perhaps that would be good enough for him? "My father..." Fei started to say, but he lapsed into silence so he could give Miang a long, piercing look. Well, that helped to clear things up - the situation was only extremely confusing now. He slowly shook his head, tightening his grip on Miang's arm ever so slightly. "My dad died a few months ago... don't you remember? You... changed at that point..." That didn't come out quite the way that he intended. But tactful or not, he needed to find out what was going on. "Miang, do you remember my name? Do you know who I am? Where you are? What has happened?" She flinched as his grip tightened, eyes wandering anywhere but his face. Yes, she knew who he was... or thought she did, at any rate. But he was so many people... just as she was so many people... perhaps he would understand the difficulty of it, if she could just find a way to speak the right words. Perhaps... he /could/ understand. "You shouldn't say such things about him..." Miang shook her head, the heavy navy cloth flying into her eyes with the wind. "You know I don't like that, Fei..." Why did he have to ask all of these questions? It was unnerving... They were things she didn't want to think about anymore. Why was it so hard to sink into obscurity, and be normal? Why must these people always hound her with their demands? "What do you want from me...? Of course I know where I am. Of course I know who you are..." Fei leaned forward, still trying to catch her eyes as she almost squirmed uncomfortably under his grip. A moment later he released her, almost sensing the discomfort and anxiety she was feeling. "This isn't going to work... I really need to talk to Doc. And maybe Elly can figure out what is going on..." He spun around and started to walk across the grass towards the entrance to the cathedral. This was too much for him to deal with at the moment... he needed to get someone else to try and figure out what was going on. "Elly... come on, I need you right now..." Without a thought as to what she was doing, Miang dashed forward and grabbed his wrist, pulling him to a stop with as much strength as she could muster. Who did he think he was, demanding answers to his questions, and then leaving before he so much as showed consideration for hers? "There's such a thing as courtesy, Fei. I answered your questions - what about mine?" Anger was apparent in her tone, though she still spoke in a near whisper. Hadn't she a right to be angry? "Where are your manners?" "My manners...?" Fei asked, blinking in surprise as he turned around to look at Miang. He could probably break her grip rather easily if he wanted to, but this was the most... life, he guessed he should call it... that she had shown since they had met. He ignored the anger in her voice as he finished turning around to face her, his expression curious now. "Well, I can answer your questions... sorry if I was being rude. So... erm, what is it that you want to know?" It wasn't the best reply in the world, but it would have to do. Maybe he could find out what was going on now... "Why?" She fairly snapped the word, her irritation giving her confidence where everything else had failed. "What do you want from me? You have no right to demand anything from me! I've lived in hell because of you and your /Mother/!" "Mother...?" The word came out rather flat, almost as if someone had struck a dull bell in the courtyard. Fei narrowed his eyes as he looked down at Miang, reaching over suddenly to seize her wrist as he glared at her. "Why am I asking you these questions? Because I want to know if the woman who was once my mother, who became someone else, is still alive. I want to know if the woman who helped Krelian to torture me for much of my childhood somehow survive being killed when everyone believed she had not... "Let's not talk about who has the right to do what, Miang... I'm not in the mood for it." Fei very slowly released his grip on her wrist, his eyes locked on hers. "I don't know what has happened to you, but from what I had heard you were supposed to be dead, or something similar. I wasn't sure if you are who you say you were... you're acting very strangely..." "Ignorant /child/." A few seconds facing him were enough; Miang spun on her heel and walked away from him, fists clenched so tightly that her nails bit into the skin of her palms. She could smell the blood, though it was soon swept away on the breeze, but she did not loosen her hands. What was the point? It would heal in a few days... and it served as a lovely distraction from the heated moisture that was threatening to spill from her eyes. Why had she even spoken to him? He always managed to hurt her somehow, or the people with him did. Maybe he had deserved everything he was talking about... and blaming on her... "Maybe... Miang, who are you...?" he asked, walking across the soft grass towards her. "You never used to act like this, no matter what body you were in. You were never so... frustrated. Even when I found you trapped in Shevat, you were confident, in control... not like this..." He stopped a few feet away from her, his eyes narrowing slightly. This was strange beyond words... he would never have expected her to react like this. This was not the Miang he knew, or had known, at any point... or if it was, she had been pushed nearly to the breaking point... "Don't ever treat me like that again. If you remember anything..." She refused to face him, clutching her hands together tightly and staring through the trees to the faint glimmer of the lake. Facing something that couldn't talk back helped - at least she could maintain the momentary illusion that he wasn't really there. "We had an agreement." Never mind that she had just broken that agreement... but things were different now. This wasn't the man she remembered... /He/ was not here. If any one memory could be said to be clear in her mind, it was her memory of him. Life was empty without his constant presence, and the assurance that she was not the only eternal flame in the world. This boy... Fei... perhaps he appeared the same, but he was not. Not at all. "Agreement...? What agreement? We've never made any agreements, Miang..." Fei growled softly, his eyes narrowing as he looked at her. "You've tried to make some agreements... about my daughter, for example... but..." There was a pause as Fei searched for something to say, a response to the questions, the accusations, Miang was making. How was he supposed to deal with this? She didn't even sound completely stable at this point, as if she were jumping around, unsure of where, or even when, she was. Why was he even here? There had to be something he could do... if he could figure out what. Should he try and capture her, or leave her be, or...? "Fei...?" The call startled Miang out of the haze of her thoughts, ringing strongly familiar in a world of strange people... She was tempted to turn around, but there was no need - she knew who this was... It was probably the only person in the world she did know truly, for sure... Only she couldn't remember... why... "Elly! I'm... er..." There was another silence as Fei paused, trying to figure out what he should say. He had hoped to come here alone, to find out if the woman he had met the previous evening really was Miang. Now that he was certain, what was he going to say? He didn't know how anyone would react, and he certainly did not want anyone to get hurt. "I'm back in the garden... Elly, there is someone here I think... you should meet." Elly... Elly... 'You aren't Elehayym. You're a warped reflection, nothing more - the snake that binds her to her cycle. She'll not accept you, no matter how you plead.' Miang squeezed her eyes shut, then opened them again, trying to ignore Elly's voice as it grew closer, answering Fei's request. She didn't want to see her, or be anywhere near her... She didn't want these people to interfere with her anymore. "Have you been out here the whole time, Fei?" Boots tapping across the path behind them announced Elly's arrival, and the breeze picked up again, carrying a faint hint of roses. Perfume? "Citan was expecting you for breakfast, but you didn't show." Miang moved as if to walk away, hoping to avoid another encounter with the girl, but stumbled, squeezing her eyes shut again as a wave of dizziness seized her. It was that scent... the roses... the voice... "Yeah, I've been here for a while... sorry Elly, I didn't mean to slip out without telling you..." Fei mumbled quietly, the faintest hint of embarrassment in his expression. "I had something that I wanted to come here and take care of, and I wanted to get it done early..." How was he going to explain this to her? And to be honest, Fei still wondered if he was simply imagining what was going on. Everything that he knew about that last battle said that Miang had vanished along with Deus... and how could he ask Elly to accept something he didn't even understand. "Elly... this is the lady I wanted you to meet. We met in the garden last night, and I think you may already know each other..." "If you'll excuse me..." Miang took a few more stumbling steps away from the two of them, refusing to turn around, and braced herself against the wall in hopes of regaining her balance. The world might as well have been spinning. "I'm needed... elsewhere..." Another step, and she fell to her knees. Go away... she just wanted them to go away - both of them. It was too difficult to keep everything neat and organized in her mind now -- too many new people, and familiar feelings that she didn't want to recognize. And where was /he/? His promise had been broken... He'd promised to stay by her side as long as life stretched on, but he wasn't there anymore... Darkness crept up in her vision, like a cloud overshadowing the sun. She blinked, to no avail, and covered her face with her hands. No more! *** "How is she?" Elly asked, her hand lightly resting on Fei's arm as she peered into the room. Their 'guest' was unconscious, as she had been since she fainted back in the garden of the cathedral. Citan was on his way now to look her over, so all that was left to do was wait. And wonder. "I'm not really sure..." Fei admitted, his voice rather rough. He gently touched his fingers to the back of Elly's hand, turning slightly to look at her. "I mean... we don't even know how she got here... so how can we tell if she is in good shape or not." A heavy sigh followed the comment as Fei looked around the door frame to where Miang was resting on the bed. "This doesn't make any sense..." "Life doesn't make sense, sometimes..." She followed his gaze, peering through the door with what she hoped was a neutral expression. She found that the presence of 'Miang' - something which should have been impossible, Fei was right - didn't disturb her nearly as much as it seem to bother him. She couldn't remember much of what happened after entering Deus... not clearly, at any rate. But there was a nagging feeling that she couldn't quite shrug off... as if there was something she should have known. Not that that was anything new, these days. Unfortunately. Fei turned away from the door and lightly rubbed his temples, trying to dispel some of the tension that he had felt ever since he had seen the violet haired woman. "I know we destroyed Deus... but what else happened? Did we do something to keep her from being destroyed with Deus? Or..." He shook his head slowly, trying to sort out everything that had happened. "I wish Doc were here. Maybe he can figure out what is going on..." Doc had known more than any of them, at the beginning. Fei sincerely hoped that he had a few more tricks up his sleeve that would help them puzzle out this new situation. But until then... "Elly... I think that maybe you shouldn't be here when she wakes up. I mean... unless you have some idea of how she'll react...?" "Perhaps your wish can be granted, Fei." Elly started, head whipping around to face the source of the new voice. Citan stood at the end of the short hallway, head tilted in question. She hadn't even heard him come in... "That is, if you can clarify exactly what it is that you need to know." She immediately stepped aside and gestured for the doctor to peer into the room, sparing an uncertain glance for Fei. Citan was good at keeping his emotions under control, and keeping to business, but... in this situation, how would he react? Although she hadn't thought about it until now, Elly had no idea just what he thought about Miang. What if he followed the lead of most of their friends, and kept some sort of grudge against her? Citan approached the door on silent feet, resting his tote bag against the wall beside the door. "This is the woman you wanted me to examine, I assume." He stepped inside, stopping just as he passed the threshold, and stood silently for what seemed like an eternity. Then, in a hushed voice, "Who is this?" Fei's voice was similarly hushed, almost as if he were afraid that they might waken her. "Apparently... it is who it appears to be," he replied, licking his lips. "She called herself Miang... and she has memories that no one else besides Elly or I should have..." Almost instinctively Fei reached out for Elly, trying to clasp her hand in his own. "She also seemed... confused. When we first met, she would sometimes act like my mother... other times... its as if she has no idea where, when, or even who she is. But she doesn't appear to be hurt... and she fainted when Elly arrived." There was another quiet pause as Fei tried to consider what he could say next. "Doc... do you have any idea what is going on?" "In this instance..." Citan sighed heavily, still staring at the woman reclining on the bed. "I am afraid I have no idea. Perhaps we can gather more information once she awakens." "If she even knows." Elly bit her lip, pushing her bangs out of her eyes. "From what I saw, she didn't look like she was in very good condition... and I can see why she wouldn't be, if it's really her." She leaned wearily against the wall, trying not to look at either of them, though she gave Fei's had a reassuring squeeze. "Not that there's any doubt..." "I had just hoped that we had left all of that behind us, when we destroyed Deus and Krelian left us..." Fei whispered quietly, his head leaned forward slightly. For some reason he suddenly felt tired - as if he simply did not want to go on, did not want to deal with this. And truth be told, part of him did not want to. The one thing that kept him going was the realization that he could not in good faith leave this to anyone else. If Miang's return had any sinister implications, he had to be the one to deal with it. He could protect Doc and Elly, but he had to be the one. "No, I don't doubt that it is her... she knew too many things about my parents, things I hadn't even known until recently..." He bit his lip softly, trying to consider all of the implications. "And we did not talk very much. She just... offered it all up..." "Deus is gone." Elly straightened again, glancing at Fei but keeping her eye on Citan, who still stood examining Miang with his piercing gaze. "Just because she's here doesn't mean something catastrophic is going to happen. She probably isn't even here by choice... but maybe she just wants to be left alone like the rest of us. Have you considered that...?" The look that Fei shot her was both puzzled and just a little amused. "If she had wanted to be left alone... don't you think she would have let me go, when I was trying to leave the garden? But she accused me of breaking a promise... but I don't remember ever promising her anything..." He gently pressed his fingers to his forehead, as if the contact could jar loose some old, buried memory that might shed light on the comment. Nothing was forthcoming... as far as he knew, he had never made any promise to Miang that would be binding now. "I just don't understand," he muttered again, leaning back against the doorframe as he listened to Citan moving around inside of the room. "And... Elly, I don't know if I want to..." "Why not?" She turned away from the doorway to face him, wishing there was a bit more light shining into the hallway. "Just because of who she is? That's not fair... Can you even imagine what this must be like for her? She doesn't know why she's here, but she must be aware that people are going to hate her... and if she can't even remember why... How would /you/ feel, Fei? She doesn't have the support we do - not anymore." Fei bit his lip again, almost hard enough to draw blood. Elly had a point, but there was also a part of him that despised Miang more than anything else in the world - that part of him that had once been Id. Was he letting that part dominate his thinking? "She deserves a chance at least..." he admitted after a moment, although it still sounded as if he were struggling to make that confession. "We all had second chances after the war ended... so, she should have one as well then." After a moment he wrapped his arms around himself, trying to fight off a sudden chill. Was this the best thing to do...? Perhaps not. But it was the right thing. Elly turned on her heel and entered the room they had given Miang, stopping near the foot of the bed to watch Citan as he went about his examination. "Is she going to be okay?" He nodded, pressing his fingers to her wrist and drawing a pocket watch out from beneath his sash. "I cannot find anything wrong with her... She is likely overwhelmed with the stress of her current situation, if what you say is true... but she will recover. Until then, we should keep watch. She might divulge something while she dreams..." Elly's mouth worked silently. She couldn't tell what he was thinking - she never could. Maybe it was just her, maybe she was just too hypersensitive... but he was looking at this a bit /too/ emotionlessly. Perhaps he really did feel the same way Fei did, and the others, and if that was the case... "Citan..." He looked up at her from his study of the watch, lifting his hand from Miang's flesh. "If you don't mind... I'd like to be the one to watch her. Fei is the one who was talking to her - you'll probably gather more information by listening to him..." She pressed her lips shut, knowing she'd sounded a bit edgy... but he didn't seem to notice. Or at least, he did not respond to it. Instead, he simply nodded and rose. "Call us if anything happens, Elly." As soon as she nodded, he turned and joined Fei in the hallway, leaving her alone in the room with the sister claiming to be Miang. She could sense Fei's eyes on her, but refused to turn around, instead settling at the foot of the bed to watch her charge's face for signs of life. Like everyone else... she wouldn't mind getting some answers... *** Snake. Promise... Broken promise... It was soft and warm, like being wrapped up in a cocoon... maybe a little /too/ warm. But it was nice and comforting, and with the breeze brushing its fingers over her cheeks so softly, she thought perhaps she could have been a butterfly, peeking its head out of its self-imposed prison for the first time. Maybe if she could break free, she could fly away into the garden, and never look back. Sunlight warmed her face. Hinges creaked in time with the wind... a window? Inside. She was inside? Not in the garden? Miang's eye fluttered and opened to the blinding light, squinting against the harsh brightness that had seemed so gentle on her skin the moment before. A wooden ceiling greeted her once her eyes adjusted, and a hint of lace-trimmed curtains drifting on the breeze at the corner of her field of vision. It was unfamiliar... Her room in the cathedral had no windows. The ceiling was high and arched, and white, but always tinged gold with candlelight. And before that... before that... "So... you're finally awake..." The voice was soft, reassuring, almost that which a mother would use to a sleeping child. A hand reached over, gently brushing the hair out of her eyes, giving her the view of slender, familiar fingers... so like her own, a part of her whispered. "How are you feeling? I'm sorry if we frightened you earlier... you collapsed..." the voice continued, still trying to be reassuring. Miang turned her head to the side slightly, her hair drifting down over her eyes again as she turned to look at her benefactor. Auburn hair glinted in the sunlight, and blue eyes softened slightly as Elly smiled at her. Her muscles tensed. Something in the back of her mind screamed at her to run, that contact with this person sitting beside her was dangerous for both of them. But it was old and tired, just as /she/ felt... and the urge to run was sapped from her limbs by that tranquil blue gaze. This was the same girl she had met in the chapel just the other day... That mesmerizing gaze reminded her of another from a very long time ago, and Miang couldn't shake the feeling that if she were to run her fingers along the smooth planes of that face, she would find that last puzzle piece. "I'm... fine." It almost felt as if she was speaking through someone /else's/ body, rather than her own. How long had she been sleeping? "Where...?" "You're in our home," Elly replied warmly, leaning forward so that she cloud look more closely at Miang. There was something in her expression - a mixture of curiosity and... was it pity? Sympathy? "We brought you here after you collapsed, so that you could recover. To be honest, I was not sure that you would wake up as soon as you did..." Elly paused for a moment, apparently lost in thought as she searched for what to say next. There was the obvious question, of course... but did she want to ask it now, when Miang had just recovered. After all, she had collapsed when they had spoken last time. But from what Fei had told her, Miang also hadn't been very rational. "You were... very upset when we talked last time. Do you remember, when you were talking with Fei when I came in, and you collapsed?" "Fei..." Her gaze darted to the wall. Better to look at anything but that girl. She kept thinking such strange things every time she looked into those blue eyes. They were like a lake, shimmering on the surface, but containing a depth she did not want to fathom... not right now. No, no... to look there was to look at a reflection she didn't want to see. Better, much better, to look away. "I'm sorry, I... remembered him as a child. Seeing him so suddenly was a surprise." "A child...?" Elly asked, not as surprised as she would have been if she had been talking to someone other than Miang. If she had seen Fei as a child, she would have been little more than a child herself. "I understand... and I am sorry that we surprised you." What else could she say? Well, it would be better to just plunge in, and try to find out what had happened, rather than dancing around the issue. "Do you remember what happened to you, since we parted ways last time?" Elly asked quietly, trying to keep her tone as comforting as possible. "Do you remember what your name is, or who you are...?" "My name?" Miang laughed faintly, bitterness and despair and a host of other undefinable emotions on the tip of that sound. "I've always had the same name... It never changes." Nothing ever changed in the past... it was only now, in the present, a future she had never hoped to see, that things were changing. She hardly knew where she was, had no idea what /time/ it was... All she could remember were waves. Light, and something not quite water, rolling into the infinite distance, and carrying her with it. There was nothing else - just the waves. They had always guided her. But they were gone now. The light had disappeared. And these people she /knew/ and yet didn't, asking her so many questions she couldn't answer... The breeze had stopped; the sunlight was mercilessly hot on her skin, and the warm cocoon of blankets she was wrapped in began to feel more and more like a trap binding her to the bed. She didn't have the energy to rise, much less flee the way she wanted to. She didn't think this girl would let her even if she tried. "Waves..." Elly gently reached over and brushed her fingers across Miang's forehead, puzzled at the response that she had been given. Waves? Waves... as in the wave existence? It had to be, and it was more evidence that this /was/ Miang. But she still hadn't answered... as she had not with Fei. She smiled gently, and leaned back into her seat. "So... why don't you tell me your name then? You've been a mystery for quite some time," Elly prompted as gently as she could. She was trying her best to be comforting, but... it still seemed as if Miang wanted nothing more than to get as far away from her as possible. Quite a change from before... "You're treating me like a child." With great effort, Miang levered herself into a sitting position, keeping her head bowed. Her muscles protested viciously, almost burning with fatigue, but she remained upright, her violet hair shielding her face from the girl. "I am not a puppet that will dance to the will of whoever tries to pull my strings. If God has fallen from the sky..." She trailed off, surprised at her own words. As a sister, she should be above petty irritation... As herself... "I..." What had she been saying? Where was it coming from, this memory of... of speaking to her like this? "I will not follow." It was somewhere she had been before - something she'd said before. Or perhaps something that had once passed another's lips. A promise... Again Elly smiled, and started to reply to Miang when there was suddenly a loud crash from outside, followed by several startled shouts. "What the...?" Elly started as she stood from her chair, moving hastily over to the window and pulling the curtains aside. Miang turned her head to look towards the window as well, wondering what could have caused her caretaker to take such sudden interest. Elly leaned as far as she could out the window, frantic to see what was happening outside. More sounds drifted through - war cries, to contrast with the cries of panic. The auburn-haired girl backed away shaking her head in denial, the expression on her face one that might have been worn by someone who had been utterly betrayed. Not even a moment had passed before she turned and ran out the door. Flames are redirected to the Soylent Center, along with their authors... but if you want to contact me, feel free to e-mail us. |